Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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