Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
