dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sacagawea was the original milf.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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