I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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