Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
