would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
