He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
