Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize