Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
