I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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