you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
