he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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