if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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