Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
