don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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