You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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