Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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