you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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