Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
True college students do jello shots in the library
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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