What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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