Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
