Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
