Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
