Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
