Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
