Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How naked do you want me to be?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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