So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
