We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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