Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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