They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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