A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
