Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
