She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
