i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She's the barista slut.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
