ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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