why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
