Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
