Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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