Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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