Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
please come you make the beer taste better
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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