I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
