she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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