They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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