yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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