: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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