It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
