i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
