the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Welp...herpes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
