she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
