ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
