Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
