The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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