i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
now i know why i became what i already was.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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