what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
