hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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