i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
