I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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