i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
