i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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