Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
