he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
