i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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