In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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