This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
