I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Randomize
