Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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