Betty ford says i'm here all night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
