This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
