so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
