Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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