I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
