so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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