Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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