if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize