Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Randomize
